LZ Sunday Paper Newsletter: The "Well Raised" Edition
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Dear Subscribers,
Happy Saint Patrick's Day! And, if it happens to coincide with Spring Break, as it does for me, Happy That, too.
I guess the news for this week is that cheaters gotta cheat, liars gotta lie, scammers gotta scam, and parents gotta make idiotic, immoral, and illegal choices for their kids.
I am trying to unravel the progression these folks must have made in their own heads to get to this end game decision. To get into college? Really? I guess it's true that in this world, money can legitimately buy tangible--if fleeting--advantages, whether it's getting to the literal head of the line at Disneyland or paying a little bit of money to get 4 inches of extra legroom in your crap coach seat. It is certainly true now and I venture to say that history would show that relatively more affluent people get more and better access to more and better things.
In this case, in which we look at an even more rarefied stratum of parental decision makers, it is my hypothesis that most of these perpetrators employ a phalanx of assistants, secretaries, maids, nannies, lawyers, publicists, agents, trainers, hairdressers, stylists, decorators, chefs, bodyguards, dermatologists, poolboys, travel agents, basically all kinds of enablers of the rich & powerful. Lawsuits, a poor golf swing, pool scum, grey hair--whatever it takes to make your problems disappear, these folks will kindly do so, for a price. In fact, it seems like the point is to make all your problems go away before you even have one. So if you can make the specific problem of a college rejection go away before *it* appears in their kid's emailbox, why not?
Fact: it is 100% legal to go to a dermatologist and pay for your wrinkles to disappear. But it is not even 1% legal to deliver a Halliburton full of cash to an admissions officer in exchange for acceptance at college.
Opinion: these people are demented.
Opinion that I believe is a fact: innate position-power combined with a sense of entitlement gives you a range of advantages in life. If you start there, I guess, and you have one iota less sense, are insulated from the real world even one layer more, or simply have one bit more idiocy in your brain, it might seem reasonable to pay some corrupt asshole to photoshop your kid's head onto someone else's image or have someone erase wrong answers on your kid's standardized test.
Except…no, because it is fucking insane to do that.
I sometimes wish I could pay someone to do this newsletter! Which would be legal, I know. But I did this week's edition all by myself--see if you think I got the answers right in today's it is another head-spinning digest of news, hand-picked, especially for you.
Speaking of wanting to pay people, if you know a good graphic designer, send her, him, or they my way. Also, send me articles, photos, or videos you think are interesting, important, or amusing here.
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Happy continued celebrations of Women's History Month!
See you next week from the other side of the mighty Mississippi: Texas and points West.
Also, some subscribers don't actually know me personally. They see my initials LZ all the time and I suppose it's easy to mis-see. They frequently email me and say, "Hi, Liz." While I do like the name, it simply isn't mine! So this week I'm going to to sign off with a clue as to my real identity:
See you!
Lauren Z.
THE PIC(K) OF THE WEEK:
Roz Chast and Patricia Marx Mine The Motherlode via The New York Times
WOMEN'S HISTORY MONTH, FOR ART'S SAKE:
Women's History Month: The Best Exhibitions Across The U.S. via The Guardian
8 Daring Female Entrepreneurs From History via Mental Floss
In The Galleries: Hanging Garments Symbolize Violence Against Indigenous Women via The Washington Post
NEWS, POLITICS & BUSINESS:
Arkansas and Utah Have Passed 18-Week Abortion Bans via The Cut
Nancy Pelosi On Impeaching Trump: "He's Just Not Worth It" via The Washington Post
Beto O'Rourke Has What Many Female Candidates Don't: A Partner Who Takes The Lead On Childcare via Vox
Elizabeth Warren Will Tell You Why Mike Pence Sucks Every Day Until The End Of Time via Wonkette
Justin Trudeau's Feminist Brand Is Imploding via The Atlantic
Old Rape Kits Finally Got Tested. 64 Attackers Were Convicted via The New York Times
Making Jokes During A Presentation Helps Men But Hurts Women via The Harvard Business Review
ARTS & CULTURE:
'Captain Marvel' Ends Box Office Myths About Female Superheroes via Variety
Hanelle Culpepper To Make 'Trek' History Depicting Picard Series via StarTrek.com
Refinery 29's 'Unbothered' Is Made For and By Black Millenial Women via Nieman Labs
In "They Were Her Property," A Historian Shows That White Women Were Deeply Involved In The Slave Economy via The Undefeated
The Challenge Of Preserving The Historical Record Of #MeToo via The New Yorker
THE SPORTS PAGES:
How Breast Size Effects How Women Excercise via The New York Times
The One and Only Naomi Osaka via The Undefeated
Outdoor Voices Blurs The Line Between Working Out and Everything Else via The New Yorker
AND WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE ABOUT…?
Dr. Seuss' The Seven Lady Godivas via Brainpickings
The LZ Sunday Paperâ„¢ launched at the dawn of 2014. We expose and recirculate interesting content that is about, and frequently by, women in business, with a dose of ultra-relevant culture. We think that culture comes high and low, not much in between. Our audience is vast and not gender-driven. Every week we expect to deliver at least one good laugh. Send suggestions, clips, or names of people you think might enjoy this to LZSundayPaper@gmail.com.
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