The "Shed No Tears" Edition
I’m on a cleaning jag…Week 3! But this one’s not my fault, honest. Why would a bag of birdseed and a bag of thistle seed spontaneously explode, in our outdoor shed, over the course of five short days, which was the last time I looked in said shed? I don’t know, but it was urgent that I not invite 1 million mice to that all-you-can-eat buffet while we’re away for three weeks, so the “clean outdoor shed” notation on the cleaning to-do list, steadfastly ignored for three years, was attended to.
Speaking of vermin, I will note that the other all-you-can-eat value customers, out of nowhere, were our friends the kitchen ants. I didn’t send a Paperless Post invite for a Spring Picnic, but they RSVP’d yes, anyway. At breakfast, I looked on the bright side. Really, any other insect would be absolutely gross. Like, disgusting. But ants are kind of…fine. Why? Maybe because they don’t bite. But neither do cockroaches and I wouldn’t care to have a line of cockroaches on my counter. Ants don’t make noise, but neither do worms, and they are tolerable only in a garden, at best. Ants, for me, are like, oh I will just brush this ant off my fruit and everything is fine (okay it’s more like I will smush this ant in a tissue and throw him away). I should not be anti-insect in any way or biased towards one particular insect because I say so. Also, I was worm-shaming and I apologize.
This is a particularly inconsequential intro. And that’s putting it rather politely. Apologies. Much else is, indeed, consequential. That’s why we’re moving on to today’s actual news of the week. It’s all about women in politics, business, health, art, pop culture, and sports, delivered straight to your inbox every Sunday morning.
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